Friday, November 20, 2009


b**: man
one day
im gonna write a software package
and call it MILF
w**: DO IT
b**: man i would never play a video game called that
w**: why?
b**: i dunno
just don't feel like it'd be a game i'd like to play
w**: Mario's Intergalactic Lunar Fortress
b**: hmm
i would play that game
you win
w**: wooooooo
hooray for a win
b**: Marios Intergalactic Lunar Fuck
w**: hott
b**: Mario I'd Like to Fuck
w**: ha ha ha
b**: actually that game would be called
w**: g-ross
b**: "Mario, I'd like to Fuck"
notice the comma
w**: it's noticed
b**: it changes the meaning drastically
on could mean that you have found a mario that you would like to fuck and the relationship may or may not be gay since the mario in question could be a girl
the other
is definitely gay
since you are telling Mario
that you want to bump uglies with him
w**: who says it's with him though?
maybe mario is banging some chick
and you want your turn
b**: you bring up a good question
it could be a demand I guess
oooh I know how to fix this
"Mario... I'd like to fuck"
w**: ha ha ha
ellipses save the day!
b**: ha ha ha
they save every day...

Sunday, September 27, 2009


funkothealmighty (1:56:45 PM): i can't wait until school is done
funkothealmighty (1:56:52 PM): i want to move back wherever you guys are at
funkothealmighty (1:56:59 PM): so we can live on the same block or something
funkothealmighty (1:57:16 PM): and then we'll form a block association voting block
funkothealmighty (1:57:28 PM): and get our neighborhood renamed "Bartertown"
Mrmuppy (1:57:46 PM): HA
Mrmuppy (1:57:51 PM): who will run it though?
Mrmuppy (1:57:55 PM): art can ride my shoulders
Mrmuppy (1:58:06 PM): and liam can drive a car
Mrmuppy (1:58:10 PM): and you can wear suggestive chain mail
Mrmuppy (1:58:15 PM): IT"LL BE SO FUCKING RAD
funkothealmighty (1:58:16 PM): the rest of our neighbors just get pissed
funkothealmighty (1:58:33 PM): "Guys I have kids."
funkothealmighty (1:58:57 PM): "Ok Mr. McNoFunerson. BREAK A DEAL SPIN THE WHEEL!"
Mrmuppy (1:59:17 PM): GULAG
Mrmuppy (1:59:25 PM): we have weekly raids of the businesses with giant heads
Mrmuppy (1:59:36 PM): cause we need 'em for punishment
Mrmuppy (1:59:44 PM): they begin to get suspicious
Mrmuppy (1:59:48 PM): cause people keep showing up
Mrmuppy (1:59:51 PM): with giant heads on horses
Mrmuppy (2:00:00 PM): and they trace the pattern of giant head horse dudes back to us
Mrmuppy (2:00:06 PM): we're right in the center of the sightings
Mrmuppy (2:00:18 PM): also we have a giant wheel, and a replica of the set
Mrmuppy (2:00:20 PM): that tips them off
funkothealmighty (2:00:33 PM): ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Thursday, July 30, 2009


riverscuomo172 (12:52:45 AM): it'll be nice for a little bit, and then I'll quickly find myself wanting the stuff I have at home
riverscuomo172 (12:55:33 AM): home being here in Mississippi now
funkothealmighty (12:56:41 AM): yeah
funkothealmighty (12:56:51 AM): too bad you can't put a robot in your room
riverscuomo172 (12:57:47 AM): yes
riverscuomo172 (12:57:54 AM): that shares stories about college
riverscuomo172 (12:58:14 AM): and goes "Who let the dogs out?" so they think I'm keeping up with pop culture
funkothealmighty (12:58:28 AM): ha ha ah
funkothealmighty (12:58:35 AM): and you can connect to it via the internet
funkothealmighty (12:58:50 AM): and play xbox
funkothealmighty (12:58:54 AM): through your laptop
riverscuomo172 (12:59:32 AM): exactly
riverscuomo172 (12:59:44 AM): it is terrible at games and lets me build up large stats
riverscuomo172 (12:59:52 AM): then I play real people and get decimated
funkothealmighty (1:00:02 AM): ha ha ha
funkothealmighty (1:00:08 AM): unless they are also robots
riverscuomo172 (1:00:35 AM): exactly
funkothealmighty (1:01:01 AM): thats where you get them
riverscuomo172 (1:02:48 AM): eventually the parents catch on when the robot sets the dinner table ablaze
funkothealmighty (1:03:04 AM): yelling
funkothealmighty (1:03:07 AM): I AM A LADY BOT
funkothealmighty (1:03:10 AM): I AM A LADY BOT!
funkothealmighty (1:03:14 AM): WHY AM I CONFUSED
funkothealmighty (1:03:22 AM): IM SO ANGST
riverscuomo172 (1:03:59 AM): PLAY GROBAN
funkothealmighty (1:04:14 AM): lol
funkothealmighty (1:04:33 AM): then one day
funkothealmighty (1:04:40 AM): the parents wake up in the middle of the night
funkothealmighty (1:04:47 AM): and the robot is watching them
riverscuomo172 (1:05:49 AM): it has knitted a sweater that says IM SO ANGST
riverscuomo172 (1:05:55 AM): and is wearing it
funkothealmighty (1:06:02 AM): ha ha ha ah
funkothealmighty (1:06:09 AM): and sewn a doyle for them
funkothealmighty (1:06:17 AM): then the mother says
funkothealmighty (1:06:23 AM): "THS IS NOT OUR SON!"
funkothealmighty (1:06:35 AM): and starts screaming and shaking her husband
riverscuomo172 (1:06:39 AM): "He would never take the time to learn a handicraft!"
funkothealmighty (1:06:52 AM): then the robot starts a siren
funkothealmighty (1:07:01 AM): because he thinks they are howling at the moon
funkothealmighty (1:07:11 AM): it sounds like your voicemail message
riverscuomo172 (1:07:24 AM): the siren then morphs into "One More Time" by Daft Punk and the evening turns even weirder
funkothealmighty (1:07:39 AM): when ravers come in through the window
funkothealmighty (1:07:51 AM): and Tim Curry comes flying through the wall
funkothealmighty (1:07:57 AM): he is obviously high on pcp
funkothealmighty (1:08:12 AM): and he screams at the mother "HAVE YOU SEEN MY TAMBORINE?!"
riverscuomo172 (1:10:46 AM): hahahaha
riverscuomo172 (1:11:03 AM): "I FORGOT I WAS IN KINSEY UNTIL I SAW THE MOVIE"
funkothealmighty (1:11:20 AM): "WAS I IN THE ILLUSIONIST?!"
funkothealmighty (1:11:29 AM): then the mother says "No that was David Bowie"
riverscuomo172 (1:11:29 AM): "AM I EDWARD NORTON?"
funkothealmighty (1:11:41 AM): then Tim Curry screams
funkothealmighty (1:11:48 AM): "NOOOOO, THAT FUCKING HACK!"
riverscuomo172 (1:11:51 AM): oh you mean The Prestige
riverscuomo172 (1:12:04 AM): with Tesla Bowie
funkothealmighty (1:12:05 AM): "I MEAN THE ILLUSIONIST FEATURING DAVID BOWIE!!!"
funkothealmighty (1:12:31 AM): "The Prestige is the trademarked name for my penis!"
funkothealmighty (1:12:45 AM): thats when he starts seeing the insects
riverscuomo172 (1:13:21 AM): and then the insects see him
funkothealmighty (1:13:46 AM): ha ah ha ah ha
funkothealmighty (1:14:28 AM): this would be a great tv show
funkothealmighty (1:14:38 AM): "Robo-player"
funkothealmighty (1:14:56 AM): then it devolves into "Tim Curry is High on PCP: RUN!"
riverscuomo172 (1:15:06 AM): and it would have an 80s style sitcom intro
funkothealmighty (1:15:27 AM): "A robot came down from space and said to andy berrolowitz"
funkothealmighty (1:15:38 AM): "Hey kid want some help with all that homework?"
funkothealmighty (1:15:49 AM): "so they chaaaaaaaanged Places!"
funkothealmighty (1:16:07 AM): "They Changed Places and now little andy is a..."
funkothealmighty (1:16:19 AM): "ROBO ROBO ROBO Player"
funkothealmighty (1:16:29 AM): "HAVE YOU SEEN MY TAMBORINE!"
funkothealmighty (1:16:37 AM): "ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN ON HALLOWEEN!"
funkothealmighty (1:16:44 AM): "A DOG CAN TURN INTO A CAT!"
riverscuomo172 (1:17:00 AM): hahahaha
riverscuomo172 (1:17:13 AM): ALAN THICKE as TIM CURRY'S DAD
funkothealmighty (1:17:23 AM): who only appears in space-time
riverscuomo172 (1:17:38 AM): yes
riverscuomo172 (1:18:15 AM): RICARDO MONTALBAN as CORTEX, THE ROBOT (taken entirely from "Fantasy Island" clips)
funkothealmighty (1:18:46 AM): the producer is very cheap
riverscuomo172 (1:19:52 AM): yes
funkothealmighty (1:20:13 AM): Tim Curry is actually paid in PCP
riverscuomo172 (1:20:41 AM): one episode is just "Adventures at Lego Land (featuring new characters!)" and it's a home movie of his family at Lego Land with occasional spliced-in shots of Tim Curry yelling in French
funkothealmighty (1:21:16 AM): ha ha ha ha
funkothealmighty (1:21:25 AM): when asked
funkothealmighty (1:21:30 AM): he says its "artistic"
riverscuomo172 (1:21:52 AM): this is the Golden Age of television!
funkothealmighty (1:22:02 AM): ha ha ha

Sunday, June 21, 2009


riverscuomo172 (10:22:44 PM): what's up Kojak
funkothealmighty (10:23:05 PM): WHO LOVES YA BABY?
riverscuomo172 (10:23:29 PM): only the streets!
riverscuomo172 (10:23:38 PM): and 70s television audiences
funkothealmighty (10:23:58 PM): yes
funkothealmighty (10:24:04 PM): this is clear from my myspace page
riverscuomo172 (10:24:28 PM): does the cast of Dallas leave weird messages
funkothealmighty (10:24:34 PM): yeah
funkothealmighty (10:24:41 PM): they always want me to hang out
funkothealmighty (10:24:49 PM): Kojak don't play with those fools
funkothealmighty (10:26:46 PM): DuffDiver69: YO FRIEND Missed you at the KEGgar last night I GOT TOE UP! I FUCKED JR HA HA HA HAHA. J/K PLAYA.
riverscuomo172 (10:27:56 PM): I feel like Kojak would have no patience with chain messages
funkothealmighty (10:28:05 PM): no he would not put up with that shit
riverscuomo172 (10:28:08 PM): only to hunt it down backwards and kill the original sender
funkothealmighty (10:28:18 PM): deep in the night
funkothealmighty (10:28:23 PM): with a virus
funkothealmighty (10:28:32 PM): that he has secretly given to hypnotized dames
riverscuomo172 (10:33:05 PM): oooh nice Bond reference
funkothealmighty (10:33:09 PM): i know
funkothealmighty (10:33:17 PM): did you get my Patrick Duffy reference up there too?
riverscuomo172 (10:33:29 PM): GeorgeLazenby1967 says: I NEED WORK
riverscuomo172 (10:33:44 PM): lol now I do

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Think about this one Ron Paul

funkothealmighty (6:57:34 PM): i made 36 dollars on stocks today
artzachary (6:57:37 PM): nice
funkothealmighty (6:57:41 PM): before i left for work
artzachary (6:57:51 PM): that's a 36$ handjob
funkothealmighty (6:57:56 PM): yeah
funkothealmighty (6:58:01 PM): i never thought about it like that
artzachary (6:58:05 PM): see you should
artzachary (6:58:09 PM): i equate all my finances in terms
artzachary (6:58:10 PM): of handjobs
artzachary (6:58:13 PM): except the problem is
funkothealmighty (6:58:13 PM): i should save up for a 360 dollar handjob
artzachary (6:58:18 PM): you can get a handjob for almost any amount
artzachary (6:58:23 PM): so it's kind of pointless
artzachary (6:58:39 PM): it's like "i just made $500 on my income taxes"
artzachary (6:58:41 PM): that right there
funkothealmighty (6:58:42 PM): well but they are different qualities
artzachary (6:58:43 PM): $500 handjob
artzachary (6:58:45 PM): sure
artzachary (6:58:55 PM): but that's more a normative assessment
funkothealmighty (6:59:03 PM): and i would submit that the quality of a handjob does not change with inflation
artzachary (6:59:11 PM): hm
funkothealmighty (6:59:15 PM): so maybe
funkothealmighty (6:59:21 PM): we should use handjobs as currency
artzachary (6:59:21 PM): so maybe i'm really on to something here
funkothealmighty (6:59:25 PM): yes
funkothealmighty (6:59:30 PM): instead of the gold standard
artzachary (6:59:32 PM): the CPI should be the HJI
funkothealmighty (6:59:39 PM): we switch to the handjob standard
funkothealmighty (6:59:43 PM): yes
artzachary (6:59:45 PM): how many handjobs
funkothealmighty (6:59:46 PM): exactly
artzachary (6:59:49 PM): can $1 USD buy you
funkothealmighty (6:59:51 PM): all finances converted to handjobs
artzachary (6:59:51 PM): in japan?
artzachary (6:59:54 PM): in mexico?
artzachary (6:59:56 PM): in the EU?
funkothealmighty (7:00:02 PM): this is getting interesting
artzachary (7:00:08 PM): so we'd have to define
artzachary (7:00:11 PM): (rigorously)
funkothealmighty (7:00:15 PM): i wish i could study this as a research topic
artzachary (7:00:15 PM): the notion of partial handjobs
artzachary (7:00:17 PM): because obviously
funkothealmighty (7:00:18 PM): oooh
artzachary (7:00:23 PM): $1 USD
funkothealmighty (7:00:26 PM): thos would just be like
artzachary (7:00:30 PM): doesn't buy you a $1 handjob in the EU
funkothealmighty (7:00:37 PM): "I'm 1/360th satisfied"
artzachary (7:00:40 PM): yeah
artzachary (7:00:43 PM): like i bet
artzachary (7:00:46 PM): $1 USD gets you
artzachary (7:00:50 PM): punched in the balls by a shemale
artzachary (7:00:52 PM): in germany
funkothealmighty (7:00:54 PM): ha ha ha hah a
artzachary (7:01:01 PM): hm

Friday, June 12, 2009

Yes We Can

riverscuomo172 (12:27:33 AM): 4chan is the dark fucking abyss of the internet
funkothealmighty (12:27:41 AM): it is man
riverscuomo172 (12:27:45 AM): everything that has come from there is terrible
funkothealmighty (12:29:36 AM): yes terrible
funkothealmighty (12:29:42 AM): some minor things creative
funkothealmighty (12:29:56 AM): alot of people on ytmnd have dual citizenship
riverscuomo172 (12:30:34 AM): ytmnd basically takes 4chan memes and makes them somewhat palatable
funkothealmighty (12:30:40 AM): ha ha ha
funkothealmighty (12:30:45 AM): ytmnd is the 4chan filter
riverscuomo172 (12:30:50 AM): yes
riverscuomo172 (12:30:56 AM): make it a sound loop and a jpg
riverscuomo172 (12:31:00 AM): and the fear is gone
funkothealmighty (12:31:23 AM): we need to make a further filter
funkothealmighty (12:31:30 AM):
funkothealmighty (12:31:48 AM): so you can present the meme in some fashion an old person will understand
funkothealmighty (12:31:54 AM): as told by andy griffith
riverscuomo172 (12:35:02 AM): hahahahah
riverscuomo172 (12:35:49 AM): "In Mayberry we would have called this joke a real knee-slapper. Here it is called an epic burn, and you do it for the lulz. Those kids."
funkothealmighty (12:36:30 AM): here is my buddy barney to tell you about lolcatz
riverscuomo172 (12:37:00 AM): Eventually Griffith gets fed up
riverscuomo172 (12:37:12 AM): and calls it "all a bunch of fucking stupid shit"
funkothealmighty (12:37:23 AM): ha ha ha
riverscuomo172 (12:38:33 AM): then there's a ytmnd of the flipout
funkothealmighty (12:38:33 AM): oh shit
funkothealmighty (12:38:36 AM): facebook usernames
funkothealmighty (12:38:40 AM): fuck fuck fuck
riverscuomo172 (12:38:46 AM): go go go
funkothealmighty (12:38:47 AM): i forgot
funkothealmighty (12:38:49 AM): i forgot
funkothealmighty (12:38:56 AM): DO IT DO IT!
riverscuomo172 (12:39:24 AM): it's available!
riverscuomo172 (12:39:29 AM): do you want to be one or two
funkothealmighty (12:39:32 AM): sorry
funkothealmighty (12:39:38 AM): i already took Mrmuppy
riverscuomo172 (12:39:57 AM): hahaha good job

Monday, May 4, 2009


funkothealmighty (11:35:39 PM): im gonna let my tongue do the walking

Auto Response from artzachary (11:35:43 PM): good things die all the time

funkothealmighty (11:36:14 PM): sorry wrong box
artzachary (11:36:18 PM): awesome
funkothealmighty (11:36:20 PM): that was suppossed to go to your mom
artzachary (11:36:24 PM): MOM NO
funkothealmighty (11:36:24 PM): OHHHHHHHHHHH
funkothealmighty (11:36:27 PM): OHHHHHHHHHH
artzachary (11:36:28 PM): WHY!!!!
funkothealmighty (11:36:29 PM): OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
artzachary (11:36:30 PM): OH MY GOD
funkothealmighty (11:36:32 PM): BU
artzachary (11:36:33 PM): HOW COULD THIS BE
funkothealmighty (11:36:37 PM): BU BU BU BU BU BU
funkothealmighty (11:36:44 PM): BURRRRRNNNNNNNNNNN
artzachary (11:36:49 PM): MY SKIN IS ON FIRE
artzachary (11:36:52 PM): AAAAAAAGHHHH
funkothealmighty (11:37:14 PM): I HAVE BESTED YOU MOTHERFUCKER
funkothealmighty (11:37:29 PM): YES NOW FEEL WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO GET BURNED!
funkothealmighty (11:37:52 PM): THE WINNER PANTS ARE ON MY BULBOUS HIPS NOW!
funkothealmighty (11:37:57 PM): AND THEY ARE TIGHT INDEED!